Germans make the best playgrounds

Ever since I have been home for the break, I haven't done too much with my time. I sit around at home with my mom a lot while she works, but today I was going totally stir crazy. I got out of the house and went on my first great adventure!!!! It was so grand that I decided it was blog worthy...also, I am just bored.

My adventure started with a text message from my friend Randy Pinto, asking if I still wanted to hang out tonight. We had talked on the phone earlier in the day and I had mentioned I wanted to do something, so, he made that happen. I told him HECK to the YES and he came to and picked me up.

First we went to CVS and met up with Mikel and Lilly. Mikel had a 2 dollar coupon for CVS, so, naturally, she had to buy something right then and there. She ended up with candy. We then made our way to donut star - it's a must in any late night adventure in Irvine. You will always run into that one person you have been trying to avoid your entire trip. You know who I mean...that one person from high school you hoped to never see again...yeah, that's right. I enjoyed a chocolate cake donut with chocolate frosting and a carton of fat free milk. It was super delicious. After sitting in d-star for some time, we moved our party to Ralph's. I know, quite the party hop. For those who are unaware, Ralph's is a grocery store.

Moving on, after Ralph's we decided to go to H Mart (or something). It's a Korean grocery store...I think. I was just super excited because I was able to buy some of my most favorite desserts ever!


Hey look! It's me! I am standing in the asian store with my bag of goodies. How cute.


Hey look! It's Randy! He is doing...something...


Hey look! It's Randy and me! We are smiling and stuff.

After our great adventure to this store, we took Mikel and Lilly back to their car. We said goodbye and off we went. We came back to my house so I could get my phone charger and so I could put my treats into the freezer. I didn't want them to melt. Duh! We left my house soon after so Randall could show me where his family moved. After seeing the new house we had to think of something to do. Here is where the evening gets a little crazy...and by crazy I actually mean totallyrockawesomesicktight.

I love living in Irvine - it's almost picture perfect. There is just one problem I have: At the hour of 9 everything goes dead. There is nothing to do besides sit around at donut star for hours - which we had already done. After assessing our situation we decided to go park hopping.

Park #1 was by far the best and therefore the most documented. Randy informed me that the park toys were made and designed in Germany. He kept raving about how they were from Germany. I didn't know Germany was so obsessed with children's parks, but now I have been informed.


Here I am on the teeter-totter. It is super lonely when no one will play with you.


Hey, Randy came to play with me! Look how much fun he is having.


Yeah, we did set up a self-timer and run back over to the teeter-totter.


Self-timer perfection.

Oh, but don't worry, park #1 is not over yet! we ran across the way to find some more toys! We found some sort of horsey thing? I am not sure, you can decide for yourself what it is. Also, there was this spinny thing. Out of all the spinny things I have ever been on this one was the fastest. It was INSANE! It was so fast and so smooth. I can't even describe how great and dangerous it was.


I am on spinny thing. Randy is on horsey thing.


I was going ridiculously fast. Randy was, well, still doing that horsey thing.


My turn? I didn't understand how to even begin to use this toy...


How about like this? I was going for the whole "I am a bull-fightin' rough and tough cowboy" look.

After this second section of toys, we ran over to the next contraption. This one had me most confused. Honsetly, what are these poor children supposed to do on a thing like this?


After spending a few seconds on these metal bars I think I really began to understand how to use it...




The last thing we went to play on was this big huge metal disc thing. It sat at an angle and had "death trap" written all over it. This was another one of those spinny things. I got thrown off of it a few times because it was going so fast. Randy was much better at using it than I was...I just tried to not die.






This was my attempt to look like a clock...just pretend I don't have legs.

Park #2 and #3 aren't even worth talking about...they were just that lame. After this all this crazy-ness we decided it was time for bed. So he dropped me off and I came straight upstairs.

That was the end of my adventure. I can't wait to see what these next 5 days have in store for me. Hopefully I will go on more totallyrockawesomesicktight adventures.

Waiting For Santa

If you have 34 minutes to kill one day, I suggest you watch this. It's a family tradition in my house to watch this every Christmas Eve before bed. Sadly, this tradition is despised by my mother - I guess she grew out of Barney 30 years ago.

Et tu, Brute!

I was sitting here watching a YouTube video and I decided it might be funny to read some of the comments that were left. Here are my findings...

MasterCranecoppa: Has anyone considered the fact that the man possibly could just be having a terrible caesar?
@MasterCranecoppa: seizure*


Really, MasterCranecoppa?

Josiah's Time

What Every Boy Needs To Know About Being A Man

"Sometimes the things that may or may not be true are the things that a man needs to believe in the most: that people are basically good; that honor, courage, and virtue mean everything; that power and money, money and power mean nothing; that good always triumphs over evil; that love, true love, never dies... No matter if they're true or not, a man should believe in those things because those are the things worth believing in."
-Hub (Secondhand Lions)

Dear Diary,

"So many of our sisters are disheartened, even discouraged, and disillusioned. Others are in serious trouble because of the choices they make. Satan has unleashed a seductive campaign to undermine the sanctity of womanhood, to deceive the daughters of God and divert them from their divine destiny. He well knows women are the compassionate, self-sacrificing, loving power that binds together the human family. He would focus their interests solely on their physical attributes and rob them of their exalting roles as wives and mothers."
-Richard G. Scott

I cannot begin to describe the feelings and emotions I had as I read this quote today. These words hit me hard - straight to the heart.

If you are close with me at all, you may have noticed that these past 2-ish weeks I have not been acting myself in the least. I sit quietly in class, keeping to myself. Absorbed in my thoughts, I block out everything around me. I don't laugh at funny things that happen, I barely respond when talked to, and I find my mood to be less than cheerful most of the time. I am so tired of feeling this way, yet I can't seem to shake it.

I am consumed with the thoughts that I am not good enough for anything, let alone anyone.
I feel unbeautiful and unappreciated.
I feel inadequate.
I feel discouraged and hopeless.

I don't feel that I am a part of anything important. I just wander from day to day with no direct purpose or plan.

I am sick of feeling this from when I wake up to when I go to sleep. I talk myself down all the time and I don't even know why. I see the effects of Satan in my life daily and I am beginning to break. I am drifting further from the path I was once on and all I wish is that I might get back on course...preferably sooner than later.

I guess I just want to feel a part of something. I want to feel appreciated - that I am important to someone out there. I want to feel wanted. I want to feel beautiful. I want to feel loved.

The only thing keeping me together at this point is my testimony. I know I will never be abandoned. I was never called to bear this burden on my own. I know that my Savior knows my heart and my pains. I know that this load will be lifted; this trial overcome. I know this more than I know anything else.

“Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.”
-Matthew 11:28-29

Show mommy how the piggies eat

Hannah: "I feel like this is an actual meal...for a pig."
Keri: "There's like a name for that."
Hannah: "Uhhhh...pig food?"
Keri: "Ya, ya! That's it. Pig food."


ALSO, watch this.

di-lə-jən(t)s

Stick to your task till it sticks to you.
Beginners are many, but enders are few.
Honor, power, place and praise
Will always come to the one who stays.
Stick to your task till it sticks to you;
Bend at it, sweat at it, smile at it, too—
For out of the bend and the sweat and the smile
Will come life’s victories after awhile

-Author Unknown

Meet The Robinsons

"Around here, however, we don't look backwards for very long. We keep moving forward, opening up new doors and doing new things, because we're curious....and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths."

-Walt Disney

Ruby Red Lips, Blonde Hair, Blue Eyes

Welcome to a little piece of my childhood:

John Michael Montgomery: Sold


Scott Joplin: Maple Leaf Rag
Now, I know the animation is a little creepy and weird, but this version came the closest to how my dad would play this song.


James Taylor: Fire and Rain


Annie Lennox: Walking On Broken Glass


BeetleJuice: Main Title

Terminal Troubles

It's 12:40 AM, I am sitting thousands of miles in the air in B6 (a window seat), my eyes sting with the fatigue of my day, and my butt hurts more than it has in a long time. After 4 hours of sitting on the ground, I think I deserve one long back massage. Anyone want to help me out with that one? Just let me know.

I received something today. It wasn't a gift, or a prize, or anything of material value at all, actually. It was an apology - a simple apology. It was to the point, very direct, and very powerful.

While I was squished in the corner of the terminal, literally, I decided it was time again to check my Facebook...for the 5th time that night. To my surprise, I saw that I had a new message. I was, at first, excited, but my excitement melted to fear when I saw whom the message was from. I opened it up and read the words on the page. Maybe because I was already so frustrated with my delayed flight of 4 hours or the fact that I was short-tempered because of my lack of nutrition, but I felt myself begin to cry.

My eyes welled up with tears, but I stopped them before they fell because, I mean, come on, no one wants to be that crazy chick in the airport terminal crying her face out.

This particular reaction has me shocked. Why would something so short and so simple make me so emotional? This is the conclusion I have landed on.

I suppose I never realized how much I was hurt by the whole situation. I never realized how much I was bothered by what had happened. I just shoved everything into the back of my mind and let it sit there. It wasn't always something I thought about or even paid attention to at all, but it was still there. It was definitely still there.

I thought I had forgiven this person long ago or at least moved on enough to not be affected by it. Boy, was I wrong. I feel at peace now. The actions have been forgiven and I have moved on...for realsies this time.

And yes, that title is the best I could come up with. I am tired. Get over it.

Listen up, people...

"Your life is your own, to develop or to destroy. You can blame others little and yourself almost totally if that life is not a productive, worthy, full, and abundant one."

-Spencer W. Kimball

I know we may not all be "youths" anymore, but THIS still applies to each of us.

I alway eat alone, anyways.

Today, I feel inadequate; unimportant; invisible.

I got up, studied for my test, spend three bloody hours in the testing center, ended up with an average grade, and found myself back in the library alone. For lunch I spent $2.89 at Taco Bell - I'm cheap, I know. The worker handed me my food and I began the dreaded search of finding a table in the Cougareat. When you are with a friend, this part isn't so bad. You can turn it into a game, like, whoever finds an empty table first gets the satisfaction of feeling awesome for about .35 seconds. I was happy when I found a good table only to have these joyful feelings crushed when the epitome of a happy BYU couple stole the table from me. It was one of those awkward "Let's all just stand here and look at the table until one of the parties chooses to back down" kind of thing. I backed down and rather quickly at that. It didn't take me too long to find somewhere else to sit.

If there is one thing I dislike more than onions, it is sitting alone while eating in public. I hate it. There is no one there to talk to you or to ask you about your day. No one to make fun of you when you spill nacho sauce all over your jeans. And no one to laugh when you say something brilliantly hilarious. Lunch is always better while in the company of others.

Another thing, today is now officially "Don't respond to Hannah when she say's 'Hello!' to us." Day. I hope you all had a wonderful time celebrating. We should throw a part next year. It's happening. November 18, 2011. Mark your calendars; circle the date. Just don't talk to me when you get there - that's what makes it fun.

I think the only thing that made my day good at all was the choice I made to wear this Christmas sweater. Sure, it is from D.I. and totally ugly. Sure, it looks like my 89 year-old Great-Aunt made it for me. Sure, the pattern is completely and utterly out of date, but I like this sweater, and the people of BYU seem to like it as well. Random people all over the place were commenting on this glorious piece of craftsmanship. Who knew people loved knappy Christmas sweaters so much?

So, the conclusions we can all draw from my experiences today:

1.Taco Bell has the cheapest food.

2. Never back down.

3. Don't spill the nacho sauce.

4. Somedays people have bad hearing.

5. When in doubt - wear a Christmas sweater.

Hannah: good at blogging.

I don't really have much inspiration flowing forth from my veins right now, but I felt it was time to post something new, so here I am...typing away.

Let's just see what I can come up with on the spot.

Well, I have been sitting here now for 15 minutes. I am really good at this whole creative thing. I am pretty good at a lot of things. Let's list them:

Hannah Utley

-good at creative things

-good at texting

-good at sitting

-good at breathing

-good at eating oatmeal squares

-good at being friendly

-good at make-up

-good at grammar

-good at dressing my roommates

-good at In-N-Out/paying for shakes

-good at feeling awkward when seeing this one person

-good at having super secret crushes that are pretty public

-good at computers

-good at photoshopping

-good at back massages

-good at gmail

-good at planning

-good at spelling

-good at command v

-good at countdowns

-good at facebook

-good at not camping

-good at lists

-good at wearing vans

-good at being a social realist

-good at stuff

That's a pretty good list. I am also good at writing poetry. Wanna see?

I went to the store

It was quite a bore,

But I bought some fresh chicken and rice.

When I came home,

My cat was a gnome,

And completely covered in ice.

Next time I blog (probably in another 5 months) I will have something more clever to say. Something more worth your time and energy. Something with sustenance. It will be really profound...and stuff.

...

Nike

My Dad's Life Lessons:

1. Leave someone feeling better about themselves at the end of a conversation.

2. Give Rides.

3. It's all in the delivery.

Follow these. Don't question it. Just do it.

Also, here is something cool to look at.

290

Well, school here at BYU has started once again...not that it ever stopped for me to begin with. These past three weeks have been completely amazing. I am so glad to have all of my friends back in Utah with me. Although Spring and Summer terms were totally rock awesome, I am so happy that it is not fall semester.

Now, lets talk about sometime that will be much more entertaining for you folks back at home. Let us discuss some of the qualities I share with a 50 year old man.
1. I can never remember where I put my keys.
2. I will only listen to what you are saying if I think it has some sort of value.
3. I lose my phone...daily.
4. I am considering the switch from Victoria's Secret to Depends.
5. My cholesterol level is 290.

That is right people, you heard it here first. I, Hannah Utley, have the cholesterol level of a 50 year old man. Cool, huh? I am 19 years old and I already take Simvastatin daily. Now, that's just sad. But then again, I guess it's not TOO bad having to take the meds...I mean, it's better to take meds now then to have a heart attack tomorrow.

I would just like to thank my perfect genetics for this special gift they have bestowed upon my head. Along with this whole "I have high cholesterol" thing, I was also blessed with the ability to black out when I get blood taken. My sister and I have this problem...I think my dad has it too.

Story Time: When I went home for the two week break/my sister's wedding, I went to go get my blood drawn so they could, in fact, check my cholesterol level. As I sat down, the woman drawing my blood was very kind to me. She found a good vein in a snap and it only took her once to get the needle in perfectly. In order to stay distracted and to not think about the fact that my blood was gushing into these huge tubes, I sang a rap song for my mother. She was not amused. According to my mother, unlike my sister's blood that was slow moving, my blood was more or less squirting out at a great speed...sorry for that visual.

Anyway, as I was finishing, I began to feel terrible, light headed, and just overall weird. I rested my head on the counter to try and regain myself, but it wasn't happening. The nurses decided to move me to the back room so I could lay down. As I looked up, my mom noticed my face was white as a ghost and I looked awful. I stoop up all right with some help, but as we moved to the back room things turned from all right to worst. I broke out into a sweat and my vision got fuzzy and black...it was going, going, going, and then gone. Complete black. Neat. I somehow got onto the bed in the back and began to regain composure.

All the woman took from me was a few tubes of blood! What?! So dumb, so dumb, so dumb, SO!
I guess this is in my genes, too? How wonderful. I feel bad for my future children. They're in for a super great treat.

I guess I am done now. I don't really know what else to say and I deem this post long enough.

Peace, Love, and Artichokes.

It's A Revolution.

Need I say more?

...

If you need me...I'll be reading.

Nighty Night...

Dear Avid Readers (I know there are many of you out there),

I must admit something so tragically terrible to you that it may alter our relationship forever, but here goes nothing:

I am terrible at blogging.

There, I said it. Now, go ahead and judge me. It's fine.

I sometimes wish I was one of those super creative people that blog about anything and everything. Where their vocabulary is particularly select and the flow of the post is most excellently smooth.

I am going to make a goal for myself. For an entire year, yes, I did in fact just say year, will blog AT LEAST once a week. That is my goal. It has been stated and now set. Any of you can hold me to that, so, if I fail, you are allowed to come up with a punishment or something.

So, what shall I talk about now? There's the question of the century. How about I go on a terrific rant about the lack of sleep I have been getting? That sounds pleasant enough, right?

**If you would rather save ten minutes of your life, feel free to tune out now. Just press the little arrow on top of your screen that will take you back to whatever page was previously holding your attention. Or, entertain this little thought, press the little x that will completely close this and all other tabs and go spend some time outside with your family. It's just a suggestion.**

For those of you who have made the daring decision to stay tuned in - I congratulate you. Your mind is about to be blown Inception style.

As I stated above, I have been getting less then premium amounts of sleep these past few nights. I don't know if I can pin this on late night eating, lack of daily activity, my recent involvements with the world renowned William Goldman (he is a novelist - calm down), the unruly heat, or the fact that I am in a completely different bed than what I am used to. Whatever the reason, I am not sleeping.

The first few nights, I would just simply lay in bed, tossing and turning, and try to ignore the heat seeping in through my, more than open, window. These feeble attempts of ignoration (ignoration: The action of ignoring something, or the state of being ignored) remained unsuccessful - I stayed awake. So, logically, going to sleep last night, I expect the same type of non-sleep pattern to occur. Boy, was I in for a surprise.

Dreams are a weird thing to me. I'm not sure if I enjoy them or not. I guess it really all depends on what happens in the dream. If I have a nightmare, sure, I am terrified and want to get out, but there is great comfort in knowing that it was just a dream. If I have the most amazing experience of my entire life, yes, it is too wonderful for words, but upon waking up, I am filled with disappointment knowing that it was all fake. I managed to experience both of these feelings last night. Fancy that.

I guess I eventually fell asleep last night - that's pretty neat. I soon found myself on some random adventure doing something totally crazy. I don't remember details. Sooner or later I was awake again. Then back asleep. This time, as I entered the dream world, I remember what happened.

I was riding a scooter around what was either Disneyland, BYU campus, or downtown Provo. You, as the reader, can pick which setting most appeases you. So, here I am, riding this dinky scooter around. Yes, dinky. It was miniature size so I kind of had to squat to ride it. It was black and pink - if you know me at all, you know these would not be my colors of choice. Anyway, I am riding around. It's a nice day outside; there are people walking, running, bike riding, skipping, and frolicking all around me. Then I run into him.

I must now stop this story for a quick aside. You know how in dreams you sometimes never can figure out who exactly you are dealing with? You can only just remember the feelings you had in the dream. Well, that's what happened. There was a him - a he. Back to the story...

So, I see this guy and it was as though I had been wanting to find him, but also wanting to never see him at the same time. Weird. As I approach him, keep in mind I am still riding the dinky scooter, I say something to the effect of, "Well, well, well, look who it is." Intimidating, isn't it? We then converse with each other for some time. He states, quite boldly, "I like you." That was quite the shock. I, next, admitted that I shared similar feelings. We then decided to go out on a date. How tender. Then I pretty much woke up. Super.

Laying in my bed, I tried to figure out what the heck just happened. Then, before I could decipher anything, I was back asleep. This time I found myself in my dad's car, driving to a gas station because the car was running quite low. As I pulled up, I had an internal struggle about getting gas because I had just filled up and it didn't make sense that the car would need more gas. The format of the gas station was also very confusing to me. Then we, me and the people I was with, decided that it wasn't the car that needed more gas, but one of the people with us. Yet, before I was able to give the boy gasoline, he had to run around and burn his energy or something. Are you following?

After he was done running around we pumped gas all over him. As gas was pumped onto this boy, he managed to turn into a girl. Don't ask me how. The girl decided it would be a smart idea to smoke a cigarette...as she was standing there...covered in gasoline. Have we learned nothing from Zoolander? I kept yelling at these people to not light a match and I kept telling this girl not to get close to fire. I was deeply concerned for her safety. Anyhow, she lit up and the cigarette just kinda blew up in her mouth and she got a good laugh out of it. Me? How was I doing? I was frantic at this point. I had reach my boiling point with these people.

We ended up at a building where all the people were on a stage and I was on the ground looking at said stage. I kept telling them that everything was catching on fire - their hair, parts of the stage, clothes, everything in view. They would tell me to shut up and eventually I left them to burn. I slammed some random door that appeared out of nowhere and closed them out. Oh, I also chucked the Cafe Rio I was holding at them before I stormed out. I, with intense joy, woke up from this chaotic scene.

Now, if anyone can interpret these dreams, please do so. I would love to understand just what the heck was going on. If I have been incepted and I am now supposed to go eat some Cafe Rio and then watch some Hawaiian Fire Jugglers - that's fine with me.

The last dream is one where I am more than happy to wake up. I hated every second of that experience. The rest of my night was spent trying to figure out where I was, attempts to fall back asleep, and fiddling with my less-than-entertaining cell phone. I really hope that I can fall asleep with ease tonight, but I ain't counting on it.

I guess, in times of peril, there is really only one thing I can do: have someone pass me the Sudafed and Tylenol PM.

I'm not really sure there is a point to this blog, but, then again, isn't that what makes it a blog? I guess we can take some things away:

1. Goals are good

2. We have no control over our dreams

3. Don't light yourself on fire when covered in gasoline

4. Never throw away perfectly good Cafe Rio

I hope I have been able to entertain your mind for the past 10 minutes. Now get back to your life. Go do something productive. Have a conversation with an actual human being. And for goodness sakes, GET OFF FACEBOOK!

I must bid you all adieu. Farewell, my dear readers. Farewell.

Fact.

Railroads are pretty neat.

So are lakes.

Bridges are neat, too.

I'll Never Let Go, Jack

I want something. I want something I cannot have.

I try to distract myself with replacements and fillers, but none of them seem to over power the desire I have.

Patience is a virtue.

Maybe, just maybe, if I am patient long enough I can get what I want. Although, I don't want to get my hopes up.

Hope for the best, but expect the worst. The motto I choose to live by...TRY to live by. This system seems fool proof. By keeping to this I can't be hurt, yet I feel pain. My hopes tend to get in the way of my expectations. I feel as though this can't be helped. We all have hopes and dreams and desires, and it causes us pain or sorrow when we come to the realization that those dreams will never run in accordance with our reality. It's a disappointment.

How can we get over this disappointment when all we ever think and dream about is our one desire? I don't think I have the answer to this question. So, I choose to remain patient, and maybe, just maybe, everything will work out. Maybe, just maybe, I no longer have to feel the sting of disappointment.

Maybe, my hopes and expectations will collide to form one perfect reality.

Maybe.

So, until then, I'm holding on to my dreams. I know some of them are completely ridiculous and will never be fulfilled. This saddens me, but only to an extent. The joy of having these dreams over powers the sadness I may feel. These dreams of mine, no matter how ridiculous, give me something to hold on to.

Yes, this contrasts that motto, but I guess I don't really care. Screw expecting the worst. No happiness would ever be felt if we only expected the worst out of everything. True, we would never get hurt, but then again we would be hurting 24/7 anyway, and what's the point in that? That's just stupid.

Hold on to your hope and dreams. Who knows what could happen in the future?

I'll never let go of my desires. Not ever.

So, I choose to wait...patiently. I am choosing to see if my dreams, no matter how distant, will ever become my reality.

Not For Eating

Play-Doh: a modeling compound used by children for art and craft projects at home and in school.

I remember a book report I once did for school, fourth grade possibly, but I can't be too sure. I, being a scholarly young girl, read the entirety of the novel. I, then, contemplated the scene and images I wanted to use for my book float. After a long time of pondering, I decided to sculpt a train, a colorful train passing through the cities the novel contained. Using Play-Doh, I crafted each and every box-car to perfection.

I wish life was like containers of this magic clay. I wish I could sit and sculpt out the perfect life and have everything go exactly as planned. The world would be better if it was left up to me and my Play-Doh.

No matter how much I wish I could sit and make my life a brilliant masterpiece down to every last detail, I know this will never be so. As much as that saddens me, I am at peace.

As I think about life, I realize, life is like a train. Life is like a train. You get on at the beginning, you get off at the end. You never know who are going to meet, who will get on at the next stop, and when someone may get off. People can come and go from our lives just as quickly as passengers get on and off of a train. Once their ride is through, they are gone. Yet, this is not something to dwell upon or be sad about. We were lucky enough to have them for that part of the ride to begin with.

Just as with a train, there will always be a light at the end of the tunnel for us. No matter how bad life may seem to get, or how rough and rocky the tracks become, there is always hope at the end of the tunnel. Hold on. You can make it. I promise.

On my train, there is always a new adventure around every bend. Who knows what friends I will be making, who I am going to fall in love with, and what trouble I am going to get myself into. As I go on these adventures, I know someone will be there with me, taking the same ride I am. I feel so privileged knowing that right now my train is jam-packed of amazing friends and family.

Please, stay with me on this ride for as long as you want, all are welcome. I would enjoy all the company I could get. Don't leave this train, you will be missed. Plenty of Play-Doh is provided for those that wish to sculpt. But keep in mind, its good for sculpting, not for eating.