"So many of our sisters are disheartened, even discouraged, and disillusioned. Others are in serious trouble because of the choices they make. Satan has unleashed a seductive campaign to undermine the sanctity of womanhood, to deceive the daughters of God and divert them from their divine destiny. He well knows women are the compassionate, self-sacrificing, loving power that binds together the human family. He would focus their interests solely on their physical attributes and rob them of their exalting roles as wives and mothers."
-Richard G. Scott
I cannot begin to describe the feelings and emotions I had as I read this quote today. These words hit me hard - straight to the heart.
If you are close with me at all, you may have noticed that these past 2-ish weeks I have not been acting myself in the least. I sit quietly in class, keeping to myself. Absorbed in my thoughts, I block out everything around me. I don't laugh at funny things that happen, I barely respond when talked to, and I find my mood to be less than cheerful most of the time. I am so tired of feeling this way, yet I can't seem to shake it.
I am consumed with the thoughts that I am not good enough for anything, let alone anyone.
I feel unbeautiful and unappreciated.
I feel inadequate.
I feel discouraged and hopeless.
I don't feel that I am a part of anything important. I just wander from day to day with no direct purpose or plan.
I am sick of feeling this from when I wake up to when I go to sleep. I talk myself down all the time and I don't even know why. I see the effects of Satan in my life daily and I am beginning to break. I am drifting further from the path I was once on and all I wish is that I might get back on course...preferably sooner than later.
I guess I just want to feel a part of something. I want to feel appreciated - that I am important to someone out there. I want to feel wanted. I want to feel beautiful. I want to feel loved.
The only thing keeping me together at this point is my testimony. I know I will never be abandoned. I was never called to bear this burden on my own. I know that my Savior knows my heart and my pains. I know that this load will be lifted; this trial overcome. I know this more than I know anything else.
“Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.”